Relapse
by Klutzygirl33
Summary: Deacon doesn't handle it very well when he finds out a secret about Maddie that's been kept hidden from him.


**Disclaimer: **I don't own Nashville and never will. No copyright infringement intended.

**Warnings**: Alcoholism and drug use mentioned.

* * *

When Lamar dropped the bombshell that Maddie was Deacon's daughter on him, the musician's mouth dropped open and he stared in shock for a few seconds. Maddie was his? But why had Rayna lied to him? He couldn't process much beyond the fact that he had a daughter and she had been right in front of his face for years. He was so caught up in his own mind that he didn't notice Rayna and Teddy screaming at Lamar for his actions at first. And once Deacon came out of the shock, at least a little, he was pissed.

Rayna noticed him picking up his jacket and panicked. "What are you doing? We need to talk about this."

He shook his head. "No, we don't. At least right now. I can't deal with this right now. I'll be back later."

She had a bad feeling about what he was going to do next. "Please don't do anything stupid, Deacon. We need to sit down and have a long conversation, I know, but please don't do what I think you're about to do." She didn't want him to fall off the wagon, let alone be the cause of it. She already felt guilty enough as it was.

"Don't worry about me." He glared at the three of them and then slammed the door as he walked out. Deacon headed for the nearest liquor store because he desperately wanted to get drunk and didn't care about his twelve years of sobriety going down the drain. Unfortunately, this was the last straw. Rayna had kept his _daughter _from him, and how was he supposed to react to that? Deacon had been furious when learned that Rayna and Teddy had married while he was in rehab and she was already pregnant with his kid, but this was ten times worse. He had gotten clean for her and she had lied to him. How was he supposed to get past this?

As soon as he got home from the store, Deacon set the bottles on his counter and stared at them. Without thinking, he picked one up and hurled it at the wall. He let out a scream and tightly gripped the edge of the counter. He wanted to drink and it was so tempting, but something was holding him back. Rayna would be so disappointed in him once she found out. But why did he care what she thought? She obviously didn't care about him anymore, if she ever had in the first place.

"Fuck it." Deacon was tired of worrying what Rayna thought or what she was doing or if she was happy with Teddy. He cracked open a bottle and poured a glass. He briefly hesitated when the liquid started to reach his lips, but drank it anyway. And it tasted so good that he couldn't believe he hadn't done this for twelve years. He had to find a dealer and get some pills too – Those would definitely help him feel better. Not drunk enough yet to make (even more) stupid decisions, Deacon went out and got the pills he wanted.

By the time Juliette showed up about three days later to see why he had missed a few rehearsals, he was still drunk and had taken a lot of pills. "Oh no. Deacon, what happened?"

He didn't answer, lost in a haze of the drugs and alcohol, and just gave her a lazy smile. She immediately made the decision to call Rayna and Coleman to help because she knew Deacon needed them. Both were there within ten minutes.

"He was like this when you found him?" Rayna wasn't surprised that Deacon had fallen off the wagon, but she felt like she was at fault this time. Maybe if she had just told him the truth sooner, this wouldn't have happened.

Juliette nodded. "What happened? He was doing okay last time I saw him."

"I'll go call someone to find him a place in rehab." Coleman was sad that this had happened, but he wasn't surprised. Deacon had been teetering on the edge of this for months now. He would be there to help him get through this relapse.

"I don't know if he's going to want to see me," Rayna admitted. Deacon was too drunk and high to even care that she was there and she was going to be on the receiving end of his anger once he sobered up, whenever that was.

"Why?" Juliette wasn't surprised that she was supposedly behind this relapse – As much as she hated to admit it, Rayna was the love of Deacon's life. She never had a chance with him and should have realized that sooner.

"None of your business."

Juliette rolled her eyes. "Fine. Whatever. Not like I care anyway." She was curious, but definitely wasn't about to admit it to her.

She sighed. "Deacon found out a big secret I was keeping and he was angry with me. Angry enough to relapse."

"Wait, he _didn't_ know that little girl is his?"

"Wait, how did you know?" Rayna figured that was something Juliette would throw in her face every got she got if she had found out.

She rolled her eyes again. "It's pretty obvious. Whatever her name is does not look like your husband, but does look like Deacon. He really didn't know? Not surprised he's pissed then."

"Oh God, we're going to have to tell Maddie now. She's going to hate us." Rayna was terrified of her daughter's reaction, but she was more worried about Deacon at the moment.

Coleman came back in with a bucket and dumped cold water all over Deacon. "It's time to wake up now!"

He sputtered awake and glared at his sponsor. "What the hell is wrong with you? And why is that bitch here?"

"Is he referring to you or me?" Rayna couldn't help the little dig aimed at Juliette and she just wanted to alleviate the situation a little.

Deacon was definitely still drunk, but had started to sober up. "I want you out of here, Ray."

Rayna wanted to breathe a sigh of relief of the nickname only he used, but held back. Now was not the time to be happy about something, especially when he was like this. "Sorry, but I'm not going."

He practically flung himself off the couch. "Maddie is mine and you kept her from me. You had no fucking right…"

Rayna interrupted him. "I had every right! Need I remind you that it was your fifth time in rehab and I didn't know it was going to take that time? I was scared. I was pregnant and alone and Teddy was my safe choice. I didn't think you'd be good father material. And even after you got out and were clean, it was too late. I'm sorry, Deac. I really am, but I feel like I made the right choice."

"You settled with that bastard just because you were pregnant! He lost a lot of your money. He fucked another woman, Ray, and you know it. I know when you're unhappy and it's been that way for months. So fuck you and the horse you rode in on."

Rayna sniffled and choked back a sob. She wasn't playing Deacon's game – He was trying to hurt her, something he always did when he was like this, and she wasn't falling for it. "No, Deacon, fuck you. And so what if I settled? Teddy was a good man, at least for a little while. And yeah, we're not happy, but I got Daphne out of the marriage at least. She and Maddie had a decent father and that's all I can ask."

"Okay, this is getting just a little too awkward for me. Should I go?" Juliette stood awkwardly in the corner and wished she hadn't heard any of this fight.

They ignored her. Rayna began pleading with him. "I never meant to hurt you, Deacon. Please believe me. And I certainly didn't want this. Please just get help. Get sober for you. And for me." She was tired of holding back the tears and started to cry.

"She's right. You need to get sober for yourself. And hell, maybe you can be a good dad to whatever her name is." Juliette waved when Deacon glared at her.

He deflated. "Fine. I'll go back. I'll get clean. But we're going to have a long, honest talk when I get out, Ray. I can't handle all this secrecy anymore."

She nodded. "You have a deal. And I can't promise anything, but I'll try my best to be waiting for you this time." Rayna leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.

A few minutes later, after Rayna and Juliette helped pack him a bag, Deacon followed Coleman out to the car for his next trip to rehab. He already hated himself for the relapse.

When Deacon came out of rehab clean and sober, Rayna _was _waiting for him. She and Teddy were in the process of divorcing and Maddie now knew the truth. She still considered Teddy her father, but she was willing to have a relationship with Deacon since she already loved the man. Deacon was the happiest he had been in a long time and he worked hard every day to stay on the right path. He and Rayna also started on a slow path to rebuilding their friendship, and eventually to reconciling their relationship.


End file.
